and a little terror.

we broke up. and i’m losing all hope in myself lately. i need to find work and all i hear about is how horrible the economy is and how i will never find a job. anyone want to hire someone with an ability to create creepy garlic clove people with black pen on white paper? that’s about all i’ve got right now. that and some kick ass lime green headphones. bomb ass shit.

i’ve been writing letters lately. less than i should, and to fewer people than deserve it. i’m going to start writing more dreamy dreams and crazy thoughts. and thank the people that have been around and the people who are standing with cigarettes in hand and magic buttons in their pockets. they’re going to make me tea to cure my cough! and to help me create more vivid dreams. i love mischievous people and i told her so tonight. i hope i make them my friends. maybe it will happen if i don’t talk too much.

my lungs and my ribs are bruised and aching. i spilled gooey drippy cough syrup all over my pillow the other night. serves me right. blundering about in a half dream, trying to measure anything in the dark. it ran down my arms and dripped in the corners of my elbows. i smelled minty fresh. but i already see the light at the end of the darkness. i haven’t hacked nearly as much today, and i feel my stomach flattening from the work out. funny.

the trip was everything i needed it to be. but it didn’t save us. i guess if after two months of solitary confinement to each other we still can’t hack it i guess it’s meant to be over. now i just need to get my shit together. fucking be a man and go balls to the wall. the puppy is cranky. he gets silly after 2am. all pissy and full of glares and itchy ears.

fuckin’ tyra banks is on fresh prince.

a glimpse into the magical mystery tour:

eat your heart out. i did. i miss it.

for now… cigarettes and recess. yes recess. fuck yeah.